I hadn’t expected that. My answer at the time was this: I needed to stop automatically approaching mediation in the same way I was used to working in coaching.
Since then, the question has become a regular part of my own repertoire, and I often bring it into workshops.
Because development does not always mean learning something new. Sometimes, development means no longer doing something. The same is true for teams and organizations. Over the years, they learn how things are “just done around here.”
A team, for example, may have become very good at making sure every decision is agreed on collectively. What once helped build trust can, under different conditions, start to slow decision-making down.
Some of these patterns still serve us. Others continue long after the conditions that created them have changed. There are assumptions we come to treat as unquestionable. Sometimes consciously, but often without even noticing.
» Which of the things we take for granted should we start questioning again? «
Perhaps alongside learning goals, we need unlearning goals more often, too.
Instead of asking, “What am I taking away from this session?”, it can be much more interesting to ask: “What can we leave behind?”
